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Honorary Mayor of North Valley (and Voice of Bart Simpson)

     Okay, just when I started to think that life was slowing down just a little bit, I decided to try something a little different.  Some of you know that I have an animated show on www.nascar.com called "The Kellys", about a racing family and all of the speed, brakes, and turns that life on the track can throw at them.

     What you may not know is that I have been taking some NASCAR (theory) classes with Kenton Gray.  He drives in the ARCA series and teaches out at Irwindale.  Well, yesterday I put that theory into action. I made the trek out to the Irwindale race track, arriving at 8:00 am.  I spent the morning going over the do's and don'ts in class with some other drivers and then hit the track.  They were all first-time drivers so, with 45 laps under my belt, I guessed I was one of the vets.  I quickly realized I am not used to that track at all.  Most of my laps were done at the California Speedway and there is a Big difference between that 2-mile track and the 1/2-mile at Irwindale - sheesh!  I have to say though, I LOVE Irwindale.  You have to be right on when you drive.  I learned to pass one car, two cars and to "3-wide."  That was THE MOST EXCITING!  They totally emphasize safety and skill first, and speed only afterward.  The idea is to get control locked in so that by experience you can add the speed.  I WOW'd enough people that they actually made me think I could consider competitive driving.  I am not sure about that.  Hmm.10-year-old-boys aren't supposed to be driving around at over 100 mph, much less mothers!

     At any rate, once I got out on the track, Frank, the experienced voice coming through my earphones, ran me through a series of exercises.  We all had to get used to driving in the safety zone, which is right smack-dab in the middle of the track.  The idea is to be able to straddle the line so that eventually you will be able to go at 118-120 mph on a straight line up high, then dip a bit for your turns.  Super exciting.  Next up, he had us driving without using our brakes!  Can you dig it!??! That was incredible!

     The whole idea is to get your confidence up so that you realize that the tires WILL stick to the track and you can take the corners at a very high speed with just the lightest tap to the brakes going into the turn.  We did this for about 5 laps. and then you start to go faster.

     For the 3-wide (3 cars across the track-1-2-3) I started on the inside and 2 other drivers were beside me.  I set the pace.  At first they were way ahead of me and had to slow down so that I could catch up with them, but I over-estimated my speed and went zooming by!  That was pretty wild - they had to play "catch up" with me!  Once we were lined up, we drove around side-by-side, which took a little getting used to.  I didn't worry so much about the speed but realized that I had to adjust a little for the car that was up high.  If you don't hug the inside line all the way, you push the middle man up, who then pushes the high rider into the wall!  Hug that line!
     Key rule: Don't scratch the paint, man.

     We switched positions, which put me in the middle!  That was way too cool!  I loved it!  Sandwiched in the middle, I had to drive straight down the dotted line WHILE THE SUN WAS SETTING!  No kidding!  The more we drove, the lower the sun got, blinding us for about 1.5 seconds on turns one and two.  I just spotted Kenton's car and drove on line.  It was amazing to me that I was keeping up!  Finally we dropped down and lined up again, with me up high!  How cool is that!?  Again, I was setting the pace.  I felt like we were in some sort of ceremony and we were the chosen drivers putting on a show for the crowd.  It was a great feeling of control and responsibility.

     What incredible thrill!

     I also learned to ride in the draft and be pulled along for the ride -- way cool.  We soon advanced to passing two cars, high and low.  That was such a great feeling--I was screaming all the way!!

     The timing on this track isn't done by speed, it is seconds per lap.  If you can do a lap at 20.5 seconds, you'd qualify to race.  I am not quite there yet, but have a very competent speed at about 22 seconds.  It will just take some more experience to shave off the 2 seconds, but nonetheless, I GOT MY NASCAR DRIVER'S LICENSE!  IT WAS AWESOME!  Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

     Jury is still out on this one, folks.   All I know is that it was really exciting, I am thrilled to have some skill at it and learning more all the time, and they would really like me to go all the way.Whew.I'll let you know!